Love, Lust and Power Cuts: My Dearest CEB

My dearest CEB,

I sit alone in darkness and think of you.

I think of only you.

You see, you have consumed my state entirely. You seem to interrupt my whole world and bring it to a pause, as if in it exists only you, only me, only us.

When it is you who can cause my life to cease, is it not love?

I can’t seem to get you off my mind. I think of you day and night. Sometimes when I try to wake, other days when I wish to sleep.

With each day comes a reminder of you.

Sometimes once, sometimes twice.

Like clockwork, I enter a trance.

The hum of a distant generator, the nipping of mosquitoes at my flesh, the sound of my heart seeming louder in my chest, and the drip of sweat down my body in candlelight as you fill the night with your heat.

In the dark, I think of you.

I think of only you.

But yet I know my love for you is unrequited. You see, while you consume my thoughts entirely, I know I am not the only one.

The passion that flares in me has been kindled in many alike, and you know it. I’ve heard your name leave their lips, and each time, I shudder.

You tease and tease till we all sit, listening to the hum of a distant generator, the nipping of mosquitoes at our flesh, the sound of our hearts seeming louder in our chests, and the drip of sweat down our bodies in the candlelight as you fill the night with your heat.

What is jealousy of this sort, if not love?

My beloved, though there is hurt in knowing, I will continue to think of you. You will enter my dreams and I shall wake with you on my mind; longing for change, and wondering how long it might take to stop feeling this ache, or for you to feel the same.

And so, I shall hum along to the generators’ tune, continue to seek satisfaction in temporary lovers as they feast on my body, listen as my yearning heart grows louder, and feel each drip travel in flickering candlelight, as I sweat in your heat.

Yours truly,